Start to notice the things you love about yourself
"When you learn to love yourself, you allow yourself to love others, removing all negativity from your heart"
This can be one of the hardest things to learn to do- love yourself. We are our harshest critics, we notice every little imperfection, we beat ourselves up over the smallest mistakes and sometimes struggle to put ourselves first. I can take 1000 pictures and pick out everything that is wrong with each one, my partner will look and reply with everything he loves about the picture. This urge to be perfect, often caused by the rise of social media/ celebrities and filters, is giving us a totally distorted view on what is “real”.
Have you ever tried looking in the mirror and counting all of the things you love about yourself? Instead of picking out all of your flaws and getting depressed over what you don’t have. I count 10 blessings every morning, this doesn’t have to be about my appearance... in fact, it rarely is! Because there is so much to be thankful for in life and I truly believe a loving heart and pure soul radiates beauty!
Take note on what you’re most insecure about and then take action to resolve the matter, for example, one of my insecurities was going out without makeup on. Having worn makeup for many years and being a makeup artist, people hardly saw me without my face on, to be honest I hardly saw myself without makeup. This was an issue every night when I would remove my makeup, I would hardly recognise the face underneath and I quickly started picking out all of the flaws on my natural skin that makeup would cover.
I started wearing less makeup on regular days and eventually I would go out without any makeup on at all! I learnt to love myself again, realising no I’m not perfect but this is the real me, imperfections and all. I started to actually like the natural look and started to appreciate my fluffy brows and the light freckles on my cheeks. I suppose it all comes down to getting your mind right... face your problem, do not hide from it and start to notice all the beautiful things that make you.
Don’t depend on a man to make you feel good
"If you live for a mans compliments, you will die from his Criticism"
I feel sometimes, as women, we rely on how males view us and try to live up to a certain 'expectation'. We continuously seek approval and if for some reason he doesn't notice our new hair do or the fact we have purchased a new sexy dress for date night, then our mood will suddenly take a turn for the worse!
Learn to look good for yourself, wear that hot dress because it makes you feel good. When you start doing things for yourself, instead of for someone else, your self confidence will start to improve and then you will realise you no longer want that approval you so urgently needed.
This can take a while to learn, one of my friends ex- boyfriend didn't believe in complimenting her as he 'didn't want to make her head big'. She desperately needed to hear some kind words and when she didn't receive them, she blamed herself for 'not being good enough' and this started to knock her confidence, if her partner couldn't compliment her, then how did everyone else view her?
Do not let others insecurities effect you and your self- confidence, you shouldn’t need to rely on someone else’s approval. “DO IT FOR YOU”- One of my favourite quotes and I apply this to everyday life, make your own decisions and you will soon realise their opinion never mattered anyway.
Don’t compare yourself to others
“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you"
"Ass can be bigger"... "Waist can be smaller" ... "Boobs could be bigger" ... I’ve probably had every bit of criticism on social media! People put women down and pressurise them because they live in a fantasy world, from looking at women in magazines & on TV that have paid for their body (and then they complain about these women that have had surgery). There is nothing at all wrong with surgery but this is the real world and lets face it not all of us can afford to reinvent our bodies or want to. All body shapes can be beautiful, don’t be fooled by everything that you see and lose sight on what is important!
It’s upsetting how many emails I receive from young girls saying they feel pressurised to look like a certain celebrity, there is more to life than who has a bigger booty! Yes, work damn hard to build your bum but please do not compare yourself to others... your health and happiness is the most important thing. Use an individual for inspiration or even as your target goal, but when looking at them starts to make you feel negative about yourself, this will start to knock your confidence and take you off track.
Take time out for yourself
What do you love to do? What makes you happy? What is your passion? Ask yourself these questions, getting to know yourself is a great way to boost your confidence. Take time to do the things you love, for example I love pamper nights, I will light some candles, have a glass of wine and put on a face mask while painting my nails! Something so simple yet so effective in calming my mind and just enjoying a bit of ‘me’ time.
It is so hard discovering self-worth and practicing self-love. It can be frowned upon by others with low self esteem, however, once it is found, you make your whole world a better place. My best tips- forgive yourself, count your blessings, always be kind & learn to love everything that makes you.
Do you have any tips on discovering self- love or any stories? Share them below so we can all help each other.